Memories :)

Long time didn't upload my blog . Happened alot of things . I changed my phone , break up , and now was chinese new year.

Happy Chinese New Year Everybody !! :D



This post gonna talk about my real feelings , life , and someone.


You born me on 1994 december of 8 , I was like a little kitty  .
You filled your life on me , until I was standard six .


You are the one I fixed inside my world , you are the one who most important in my world . Until u met him , all the love that speak from ur mouth , I can't feel that was L.O.V.E .


I'm strong , tough , and be more smater after u met him .


Well , I know he was dislike me . Wanna get me out by using his own way .
I gave enough space for both of you , and you too .


I know maybe I'm not the perfect daughter inside ur heart , brain .
But , please do not do muhch compare between his grandson , and also granddaughter .


I know everyone on the world got their own temper , me too .
But please do not release ur anger on me , and there was nothing wrong between each other .
It will affect our relationship .


I know everyone need someone stand beside them to be a a supporter , me too .
I hope to be the one and stand beside u everytime , solve the problem all the way .
I did make sure myself not to cause problem to you , I really did .

But you did not realise I was there , HIM .
U always remember HIM .

I always try to pamper u , listen on u .
But , you just never and ever try to understand my feelings , and u neglect it .

You did , U really did .

You say friend will influenze my study , and everything .
But u didnt even think before , if without friend . I got no way to release my stress that inside my heart .


You did blame me and daddy always , blame all of us .
But you did not realise that , when something was wrong in a family .
All the members have their own responsibility to faced it , but u didnt .

You always the winner and u always like a god (All of us are the wrong one )

You never respect my privacy , you never realise that I am a human . Not a vampires that didnt have any feelings .
You watch my diary , arrange a trip with HIS family without any suggestion , and did something that should not do in front of me and HIS daughter's maid was in there too !


Both of u was did not realise , I am still a teenagers . I need care , love and pamper so much .
SPM was around the corner , u throw the problem to me , bring me inside ur problem too !


Both of you did not realise , I was a girl that who never have others supporter beside me anymore .
Both of you did not ever realise , I was hope to sleep with my mother but not saw my mother sleep with HIM !


Both of you never realise , I wanted to get my good result is for both of you to know . I will be the one will earn money and raise the family on the future .

Both of you never realise , everyone got offense . Just depends whether it wanna change to be better or not .
Both of you always remember , once wrong . Then forever also Wrong !

But , both of you never know . Ur moral , attitude , education , the way u treat others . Not that perfect and good too .

Because both of u dont know , all of us were not GOD , but Human !


I admit that I hate you , since last time .
I admit and accept the truth that adult make , I believe that god love me much .
Because I learn to challenge my life , with love .

I love god so much , because I learn to be independent , be attitude , and respect others .

Both of you was too over infront of others , and outsider .
Outsider always ask that issit HIM is my dad ?

I say no ! Every male adult can be my dad , but he cant !

Mum , do you know .. I try my best be the Perfect One in your heart .
Just hope to prove that I am not useless , and not same with ur husband .

I just wanna prove that in the world not only HIM can protect you , got the right to love u and get ur love .
I just wanna prove that I am ur loved one and the most important one .

But , you didnt even give me the chance . I know I didnt have the right .

I always learn to be smart just because I know HIM will chase me out some day .

And now , the day was coming soon until I could not predict . That day maybe is tomorrow , or next minute .


I used to be call you HIM on my blog , because this is my lil world . And I wont regret that I say something that hurt you !

Because you did hurt me since I was standard six , until now .
You didnt even give me a chance to live with my mum .

Altough I know , both of u make this choice .
I respect ur decision :)


Mum , I not dare to cry out loud in front of you . You will tell the whole world that I cry in front of u while I already a teenagers .

The world used to say , everyone love their children .

But I am sorry , I really didnt feel it . I cant feel it , I am not idiot .


You will never know , my tears fall like hell and my back was facing both of ur stupid action !
You will never know , dont find fault find remedy's meaning .
You will never know , I am taking back my love just to avoid get hurt ..


Dear Qian and friends , thanks for be with me all the time <3